Dear Dad and Mother,
Why didn't you ever tell me that I could actually succeed at a relationship? I have now spent the last 13 months in a relationship that was not the best relationship for me to be in. The relationship was emotionally abusive for me, but I was out to convince myself that I could actually succeed at a relationship. You always told me that without Christ, a relationship would never last. You told me that without my parent's blessing, a relationship would never last. You told me that without a marriage certificate and a Church wedding, a relationship would never last. You told me that without courtship, a relationship would never last. You told me that unless I followed your perfect formula that doesn't even work in this world, a relationship would never last.
I threw all of those values out of the window as I matured. I don't know if I'm a Christian or if I believe in God. I don't believe I need your blessing or that I even need to be married. I don't believe in courtship or even waiting until marriage. Somewhere deep down in my unconscious, I thought that with throwing all of those teachings out of the window, I was also throwing out any chance of succeeding in a relationship.
You were wrong. I can succeed in a relationship. I can have a great relationship. I can be happy. I can have a great life without following your formula.
Why didn't you teach me that instead of all these other insignificant things? Teaching me self-worth would have helped me so much better in this life. Actually valuing myself would have helped me to make well better choices. All your teachings and rules only made the road to happiness and relationships even longer and more painful. You hurt me instead of helping me. There are just so many things I wish learned at a younger age. I wish I could know then what I know now.
Another Invisible Daughter
